Since Dolly and her Misfit Toy just had their fourth family visit, we thought this would be a good time to share all the intriguing deets about this remarkable event, beginning with The Prep.

Because there are quite a few specific items that are required (since our Love Shack doesn’t come with all the niceties of life), and some of these things are not items one generally has lying around, Dolly had to make a bit of a financial investment at the beginning.

The Bedroom

Things like mattress and pillow protectors are very necessary, since you’ll be sharing a bed with multiple other couples (not at the same time, you naughty!), and—surprisingly for OCD Dolly—not everybody is clean and tidy. In just four visits, Dolly has noticed a long, black hair (the opposite of her own) and dried blood on the mattress. ICK. Hence the mattress protector.

The bed is queen-sized, and since Dolly’s own bed is a full, she had to invest in two sets of queen sheets—one for summer and flannel for winter. (Dolly needs flannel sheets in winter.)

Long before we were even approved for family visits, we were hopeful. So Dolly had been saving her LLBean credit card points for a giant warm, plush blanket. She even had it monogrammed with our last name (a free service for credit card holders). And she did the same for the summer blanket, which is gorgeous, heavy cotton. Let me tell you, these are amazing! She is a very happy customer indeed (and she receives no kickback from LLBean if you click on those links[1]).

The rule: all blankets must be single layer. No quilts allowed.

So that takes care of the bedroom.

The Bathroom

Moving to the bathroom—shower shoes are a must.

As is a towel and washcloth. Since Dolly is a minimalist at heart, she only brings one of each. We share nicely.

Toilet paper is generally provided by the prison, but there were a few posts on the Family Visit group about a TP shortage (!!flashbacks to Covid!!), so she brings a roll just in case. It has to be a brand-new, wrapped, single roll.

A shower curtain and plastic shower rings are also suggested. We have never needed to use ours, since there has always been a clean-enough shower curtain in the bathroom. (Which Dolly only now found out MFT sanitizes every single time!) But you never know—someone might decide they really like that shower curtain and take it home, so she brings them each visit . . .

Against MFT’s advice, I did buy a nice squooshy bathmat, but during the very first visit, I realized my husband really does know what he’s talking about. We don’t walk around barefoot anywhere, so it was really superfluous. It was a really thick, deep purple, so we left it behind to bless someone else’s experience at their own home (you know it didn’t stay put).

The Kitchen

Plates, bowls, and cups, oh yes! I have to bring those too. To minimize costs and landfill trash,[2] Dolly found some colorful plastic dishes at Goodwill. The utensils she had to order online at a certain big, jungle store. Metal utensils aren’t allowed.

Dish soap, dish cloth, kitchen towel. Since we’ve been a few times now and are familiar with what tools are in the kitchen, we’ve added an egg spatula and silicone potholders to our kitchen supplies. (Remember Dolly’s singed yellow kitchen towel?)

The Cabinet

All personal items such as lotion, shampoo, chapstick, makeup, toothpaste, dental floss, etc. needs to be in brand-new, sealed packages. OR, you can bring in some clear, travel-sized bottles in which to squeeze some of your liquids when they pass through security. (The officer needs to see that you haven’t secreted anything inside those bottles.) To avoid this hassle, Dolly stocked up on a plethora of travel-size items. Lemme tell you, this really simplifies things! And when she gets home, she just uses them up, so she’s really not spending any extra money.

MFT has some strange logic. He’s apparently all about sanitizing the shower curtain, but he insisted we should share the same toothbrush. (MFT: How is it any different than kissing?[3]) Such an idea was abhorrent at first to this prissy little dolly, but now, much to her chagrin, she’s admitted he’s right. She only brings one toothbrush now.

The Closet

While the clothing one wears must pass the martial muster (read this post on what to wear to a visit), almost anything can be brought to wear inside the Boom Boom Room. Some ladies bring multiple changes of clothing. Some ladies bring only lingerie. And some bring nothing. How much does Dolly bring, do you think?

The Extras

The MOST. IMPORTANT. THING. TO. BRING is your legal proof of relationship—be it marriage certificate, domestic partner certificate, birth certificate, etc. Aside from wives or DPs, immediate family members can also come. (Each bungalow has a second room with extra beds.)

All prescriptions or supplements must have a signed doctor’s letter stating the dosage. These will be locked into a box that only you have the key for. The guards will bring you your lockbox at the appropriate times for your medication.

We are allowed to bring up to five sealed DVDs and/or Xbox games. Or we can take our chances with the options stuffed inside a massive file cabinet (it’s exactly the sort of selection you’ll find at your local library).

Now, those of you with thinking brains will be wondering right about now—how does she carry all this in? Well, in a giant bag, of course! At our prison, there are no restrictions on the bag, but some prisons require the bags to be clear, so this is what Dolly bought. (If MFT ever gets transferred to one of those prisons, she’ll be ready. She’s not a Boy Scout mom for nothing.) Dolly also bought a smaller one so all the little items don’t get lost.[4]

Oh yes, and a giant suitcase to transport all this stuff from Texas to California and back again. (For any new readers, I live in one state and MFT is in the other. But hopefully not for long . . .)

The Food

We need to eat! We buy food from two places—

1. Walkenhorst, which is one of the package companies MFT purchases from himself. So he’s very familiar with their catalog and knows just what to order—snacks, drinks, shelf staples. In order to make sure it arrives in time, we order this a month ahead.
2. Fresh Food Vendor, which is the same vendor that provides the food in the vending machines in the regular visiting rooms. This is where we can buy meat, milk, eggs, vegetables, cheese, butter, etc. We can order frozen pizza and lasagna as well. (Both are delicious, especially with MFT’s snazzy pizza additions.) We order the fresh food two weeks before our visit.

Well, that’s enough for one post, dear reader. There is a lot more to share, but don’t worry—you know me, I’ll share it all. Next up will be The Process: getting into the prison with all this stuff.

[1] *nudge nudge* Yes, you, LL Bean.

[2] Dolly grew up in SoCal. ‘Nuff said.

[3] And other things . . .

[4] Just want to glow a bit about this smaller bag. It’s sparkly! And it zips!